we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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