He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
