ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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