I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your penis caused this!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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