I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
a search helicopter?!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
