the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
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