i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
why do cheetos always look like penises
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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