my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
