I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
