I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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