he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
