Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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  (703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii. http://tfl.nu/5g9i
  Replies (2) Good night (1248) Bad night (682)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.

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  (757): Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you. http://tfl.nu/6xm5
  Replies (54) Good night (7096) Bad night (797)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

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  (720): If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/by48
  Replies (24) Good night (834) Bad night (3822)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

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  (770): i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises. http://tfl.nu/q0zn
  Replies (52) Good night (6775) Bad night (1845)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

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  (773): I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit http://tfl.nu/6wkt
  Replies (12) Good night (9839) Bad night (1272)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.

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  (610): all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville. http://tfl.nu/k1x4
  Replies (6) Good night (8316) Bad night (1773)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.

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  (303): There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home. http://tfl.nu/5hbi
  Replies (8) Good night (2784) Bad night (1461)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?

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  (360): Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/1n7v
  Replies (14) Good night (4108) Bad night (891)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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  (513): How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last?? http://tfl.nu/wkzl
  Replies (9) Good night (1115) Bad night (2886)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

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  (610): she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard. http://tfl.nu/kg7h
  Replies (7) Good night (954) Bad night (2299)
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  (556): View more from

  Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

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  (556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07
  Replies (10) Good night (2185) Bad night (816)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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  (303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (530)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.

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  (404): I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life. http://tfl.nu/rfqb
  Replies (3) Good night (1436) Bad night (737)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good

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  (519): He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good http://tfl.nu/g2kf
  Replies (3) Good night (1220) Bad night (405)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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  (215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (599)

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