ADVERTISEMENT

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  um, yeah. i think it is.

  Fav 12 2800 1055

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

  Fav 9 3523 1341

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me

  Fav 9 1330 4452

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

  Fav 4 3872 1030

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"

  Fav 6 2765 1095

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.

  Fav 8 1233 2902

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music

  Fav 7 2656 1130

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

  Fav 3 1053 1434

  share tweet
  

• (409): View more from Texas

  My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.

  Fav 2 1094 575

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms

  Fav 1 1050 530

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.

  Fav 1 820 499

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.

  Fav 4 560 175

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance

  Fav 4 241 196

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible

  Fav 2 98 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.

  Fav 0 47 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize