Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly

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  (315): covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly http://tfl.nu/6dbu
  Replies (5) Good night (2008) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.

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  (615): Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess. (1-615): I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea. (615): Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight. http://tfl.nu/tw6c
  Replies (41) Good night (432) Bad night (2294)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.

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  (817): You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target. http://tfl.nu/enj6
  Replies (15) Good night (901) Bad night (3618) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions

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  (778): I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions http://tfl.nu/u0tu
  Replies (27) Good night (1405) Bad night (3546) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

  (708): View more from Illinois

  WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

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  (612): she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :) (708): WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE http://tfl.nu/vm9y
  Replies (9) Good night (5960) Bad night (959)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified

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  (603): More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified http://tfl.nu/si7g
  Replies (5) Good night (1436) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?

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  (435): she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right? http://tfl.nu/crml
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (1978) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1430) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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  (248): We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens http://tfl.nu/5a7g
  Replies (18) Good night (2038) Bad night (642)
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  (949): View more from California

  Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.

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  (949): Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me. http://tfl.nu/lccl
  Replies (3) Good night (2180) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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  (314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9
  Replies (11) Good night (524) Bad night (1173) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed

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  (717): if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen? (484): i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed http://tfl.nu/7o4k
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (304)
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  (760): View more from California

  Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.

  (432): View more from Texas

  You're so wise.

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  (760): Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants. (432): You're so wise. http://tfl.nu/48zw
  Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (236)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...

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  (231): Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night... http://tfl.nu/5nvm
  Replies (4) Good night (340) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Can you see in?

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  (773): Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter. (1-773): Can you see in? http://tfl.nu/hc5g
  Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt

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