I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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