Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
