I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
