and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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