Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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