he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
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Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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