so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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