I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
