Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
