There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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