He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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