Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
