That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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