last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
