they need to just BURY HIM!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
whose ass print is on the piano?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
