Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
