My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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