Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
worst night to have a conscience
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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