Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize