i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
