my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
