I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
