So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize