u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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