I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize