We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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