We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
