He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
