And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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