so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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