the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
