My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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