mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
