Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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