I got chris browned last night
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she peed on how many people?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
