I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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