I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
