Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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