My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
