sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
