Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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