Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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