I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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