Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
