I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
