A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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