i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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