my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
