in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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